Super
Stupid
For
the lack of anyone else to
blame I’m going to assume
this is all Morgan Spurlock’s
fault.
Spurlock,
of course, is the Rhodes Scholar
behind the film “Super
Size Me,” a documentary
that seeks to demonstrate
– hang on to your hats
here conspiracy theorists
– that eating McDonalds
food all day, every day is
bad for you. Very bad.
One
can only assume that even
if there DOES happen to be
a small subset of the American
population so oblivious to
the truth that they have yet
to realize large quantities
of McDonalds food is detrimental
to their health then they
are probably too busy suing
the cigarette companies for
not adequately warning them
about the dangers of smoking
to see the film anyway.
Spurlock’s
genius plan is to suddenly
reduce his own athletic lifestyle
to 1000 steps a day –
theoretically the amount of
daily exercise that the average
American gets - and to eat
nothing but McDonald food
for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Presumably
this is because McDonalds
has been encouraging us to
choose them as the “three-squares-a-day”
restaurant? Personally I’ve
always viewed McDonalds as
portraying itself as a treat,
a once-in-a-while alternative
for a quick meal but hey,
that’s just me.
I
won’t even mention that
such drastic a change in his
personal exercise routine
alone would wreak major metabolic
havoc regardless of what he
was eating...
In
the final act of ridiculousness,
Spurlock chooses to order
the Super-Sized meal any time
that someone offers it to
him.
This
guy must have been a blast
in high school: “Hey
Morgan, want to jump off a
bridge?”
“Well,
since you asked....”
Apparently
Spurlock feels that in addition
to not exercising enough,
we’re also helpless
to make our own decisions,
so easily swayed by the psychological
prowess of a McDonald’s
employee that we’re
powerless to do anything other
than obey their every suggestion.
And
maybe that’s what bugs
me about Morgan Spurlock –
the fact that he clearly considers
us so stupid that we need
him to point out the obvious.
Perhaps if his philanthropic
streak continues he could
use his superior intellect
to warn us next about the
dangers of loaded guns or,
say, jumping off cliffs. I
know I feel safer with rocket
scientists like him on the
job looking out for me.
Why
am I so bitter? Because now,
having just gotten back from
McDonalds where I really wanted
610 calories worth of french
fries ( as I am want to do
from time to time) I was told
that they no longer have Super
Size Fries. And as disappointed
as I am in McDonalds for kowtowing
to some idiot with a camera
instead of defending the truth
– that in a free-market
economy consumers can to choose
whatever the hell they want
for food, even if it’s
bad for them – I’m
more annoyed at Spurlock for
leaving me no choice but to
order two large fries instead.
Yes,
I know it’s bad for
me. And I didn’t even
need Morgan Spurlock’s
help to figure that out.
This
Essay © 2004 Lee Totten
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