The
Column About Macintosh
You
know that phenomenon where
whenever Oprah mentions any
product on her show whether
it’s a candy bar or
a Cadillac Escalade and the
next week the manufacturer
gives her enough free “whatevers”
for the entire audience? How
come that doesn’t happen
for internet general interest/humor/philosophy
columnists?
I
mean, c’mon - it works
for my friend Lennie in his
syndicated comic strip “The
Big Picture.” He merely
mentions Kona coffee or kitty
treats and within a week all
sorts of free stuff starts
to show up.
Sure,
maybe Oprah’s show reaches
millions of people daily while
I’m lucky if I can get
this out every couple of weeks
to my immediate family. (Well,
and you – but I’m
so grateful you read this
that I pretty much consider
you family). But in some ways
my minimal market might work
to the manufacturer’s
advantage – a smaller
audience means fewer folks
to give stuff away to.
Besides
it’s not like I’m
thinking of mention something
grandiose like, say, a Ferrari
Enzo (that’s E-N-Z-O)
or, I don’t know, a
Sony 37-inch WEGA plasma flat
panel television. I’d
be happy if I could just convince
someone at Apple to send me
a 17-inch Macintosh PowerBook
G4.
That’s
right – I said a Macintosh.
No need to scoff – it’s
very likely that if not for
the Macintosh you’d
still be accessing your word
documents by typing “run
c://programfiles/msword.exe”
on some monochrome display.
And I’d be really curious
to see how quickly you could
delete this column without
your Apple-popularized mouse.
Sure,
in this PC-dominated world
it’s easy to think of
the Macintosh as a minor player
in the computer world, a boutique
brand that seems popular only
amongst public school systems
and your local Kinkos. Apple
admittedly got their butt
kicked when it came to market
penetration, losing major
ground to the IBM clones in
the business and home markets.
But to those in creative industries
– music, film, writing,
graphic design – Macs
are cherished as much as that
1957 Martin D28.
In
fact in certain circles the
answer to the question of
“Mac or PC” carries
more gravity than “Republican
or Democrat.” Respond
that you’re not sure
of the question and you show
yourself to be one of the
mindless drones raised on
a steady stream of Microsoft
with little exposure to anything
else. Answer PC and you’ll
be proclaimed ignorant, a
Redmond-patsy, a totally bland
person.
But
answer Macintosh and you are
instantly welcomed into the
club of Macintosh owners –
a passionate group that, like
Volkswagen Beetle drivers,
feels that a machine can be
an expression of who you are.
So
if there’s anyone out
there reading this who happens
to have some connection to
anyone in Cupertino, California
feel free to forward this
column to them and let them
know I’d be happy to
provide a shipping address.
In
the meantime, I’ll be
plotting to get myself on
Oprah. And if I do make it
on the show and I mention
the PowerBook, I'll make sure
that all of you are in the
audience that day....
This
Essay © 2004 Lee Totten
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