Consider
This
I
always assumed that when I
had children I would want
to raise them to be considerate
people. You know – the
kind of adults who hold the
door a moment for the folks
behind them, or who let someone
with fewer groceries ahead
of them at the check out.
After all, that was the way
my parents raised me.
Perhaps
I was naive.
I
mean, I know quite a few kind,
considerate people –
my close friends from college
are all generous people, there
are folks who I have only
corresponded with online whose
kindness knows no limits,
and of course it’s widely
acknowledged that anyone who
reads Ramblings week after
week must just be a nice person.
But
then there’s the rest
of the world: the meanies,
the inconsiderates, the non-Ramblings
readers. These are the folks
who park in the fire lane
in front of the grocery store
and block traffic, the people
who through each day unconcerned
with inconveniencing others
as long as it means not inconveniencing
themselves. They are the idiots
like the woman we ran into
a few months ago:
It
was a crisp fall day and we
decided to take our two month
old for a hike. We put him
in a Baby Bjorn - a nifty
contraption that you wear
like a backwards backpack
that allows you to carry your
baby on your belly –
and headed to the local public
trail. It was there, with
baby fast asleep strapped
in on mother’s stomach,
that we happened across this
woman and her leashless dog.
She
saw us coming and paused and
then, as dogs without leashes
will tend to do, her Rover
took off towards us and leaped
towards my wife with front
paws extended. And even as
I dove to keep Muttonhead
from jumping onto the baby
I heard the woman yell out
cheerfully “Don’t
worry, he won’t hurt
you!”
But
is that really the point?
Since we know that there is
a leash law and we know that
these are public lands, shouldn’t
the question of whether or
not said stupid canine is
benevolent or malicious really
be moot? And whether he means
to hurt us or not would have
been of little consequence
to me if he had inadvertently
clawed the baby in his dumb
dog enthusiasm.
That’s
when it occurred to me –
the sad recognition that if
I raise my children to be
considerate, they’re
going to be at a disadvantage.
If I teach them to be nice,
they’re going to be
the ones getting stepped on
by the meanies, constantly
compensating for imbeciles
like this woman. Raising them
with the same values I have
might actually be doing them
a disservice in this mean,
cutthroat, insensitive, exploitive,
shock jock reality television
world we live in now. I mean,
seriously, when did “nice”
become a liability?
I
always assumed that when I
had children I would want
to raise them to be considerate
people. Now I’m wondering
if I’m the only one
these days who ever considered
that an option.
This
Essay © 2004 Lee Totten
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