Unanswered
Questions 2003
I
always hope that I’ll
wake up one day and finally
know everything there is to
know. Not necessarily that
I’ll be able to apply
all of my knowledge, but that
at least the focus of my life
will be on implementation,
not education.
Alas,
apparently this is not the
year so without further adieu,
here is the 2003 edition of
“Unanswered Questions”:
Q:
Why isn’t cell phone
coverage better than it is?
Seriously
– cell phones have been
on the market since, like,
the late 1980’s. That’s
over twenty years and yet
a 15 minute drive from my
home to the capitol of my
state is an adventure in dropped
calls, dead zones, and static.
Oh sure, our phones are much
niftier, but the coverage
has never improved. What gives?
Q:
What is Rush Limbaugh’s
deal?
I
understand that his political
views appeal to the conservative
demographic, but how is it
that someone who utterly lacks
basic reasoning skills has
managed to make a living in
America pretending to put
forth rational arguments?
Typical Limbaugh deduction:
since there was so much reaction
to his inane comments about
Philadelphia Eagles quarterback
McNabb then he must have hit
upon a truth.
Right
Rush – and if you get
defensive because I go to
the media and tell them all
that you’re actually
a homosexual, then that means
I must be telling the truth.
Q:
Why are so many diet foods
designed to taste like sweets?
Is
it really a good idea to give
people a taste of the very
thing they’re trying
to avoid? Whenever I have
a “weight control”
snack flavored like a candy
bar it inevitably tastes so
fake that it just makes me
want the real thing even more.
Wouldn’t it make more
sense to model them after
healthy foods, like fruit?
Q:
Why was Ramblings on an 8-week
hiatus?
Okay,
trick question. I know the
answer to that – just
seeing who’s paying
attention.
Q:
Why do gasoline prices change
instantly at the pump?
The
news breaks in the morning
that OPEC is reducing output
of crude oil and by afternoon
prices have jumped at the
gas station. Haven’t
they already paid for the
gas that sits in the tanks?
And how come the price of
gas doesn’t come down
as quickly? I’m just
saying - when the price of
diet Coke skyrockets at the
grocery store, the 12-packs
in my cupboard don’t
cost me more. Now about this
whole 9/10ths of a penny thing....
Q:
Why doesn’t the recording
industry simply tell the truth?
Downloading
is not the real reason for
horrible record sales. There,
I said it.
To
blame the decline of record
sales on downloading is to
assume that a majority of
people downloading a particular
song did so instead of purchasing
it. Most folks I know download
songs they would never buy.
Perhaps the real reasons the
industry sold less records
this year than last are because
a) the labels released fewer
records and b) this little
thing called the recession.
Don’t
get me wrong – the fact
is that when you download
a copyrighted song without
permission, you are stealing
intellectual property from
the artist and breaking the
law. I own my music, and I
choose to share it with you,
but it’s not yours to
take without my consent. It’s
the same as the difference
between me allowing you to
borrow my car for the afternoon
and you just taking it,
But
the labels need to explain
it that way – not lie.
Q:
Why did California need a
recall?
Seriously
– things are bad in
every state, the guy was just
democratically elected a year
ago, and defining the length
of a politician’s term
was done specifically by the
founding fathers to allow
the voters to kick a guy out
if he didn’t do his
job. A law that allows an
individual with a political
agenda to gather a minority
of signatures and force a
vote on a recall is not only
redundant, it seems highly
undemocratic. And if politicians
can be taken out of office
at any point, it’s only
going to force them to make
decisions bases on the polls,
not on their convictions.
Seems ridiculous to me, almost
as ridiculous as their choice
of a replacement.
This
Essay © 2003 Lee Totten
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