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Spring
Cleaning
Well,
it's that time of year again
when the weather here in New
England finally gets nice...
for a day or two, then it
snows. Of course then gets
really hot... before it snows
again. But all of that aside,
it is time to get rid of all
these random notes cluttering
up my desk and keeping me
from being the very model
of efficiency.
Okay,
maybe it's not the notes.
But still:
- I
should save this for my
unanswered questions but:
how come the lemonade I
just purchased that's in
the very same plastic bottle
as my diet Coke DOESN'T
have a deposit while my
diet Coke does? And what
about water in plastic bottles?
I mean, which lobby is behind
this whole thing? It just
seems like if a deposit
on plastic bottles is really
necessary then it really
shouldn't matter what's
in it. And if it's not necessary,
can't we just eliminate
it so I can stop piling
them up in my garage?
- It's
been a little over a year
since Dale Earnhardt's death
and I've got to say it still
doesn't quite feel like
a Sunday without "The
Intimidator" at the
race track.
- I
love spring: the flowers
are in bloom, the birds
are chirping, and squirrels
and chipmunks run willy
nilly across lawns and roads
... only to end up squished
on the pavement with their
tails flapping in the air.
Am I the only one who notices
that this season of supposed
rebirth brings with it a
marked increase in the number
of small animal highway
deaths?!
- Steve
is leaving Blues Clues to
continue to pursue his career
as a serious actor and musician.
Man, and I though the Jager
Guy was a reputation that
stuck....
- Say
what you want, but banning
cell phones while driving
isn't going to make an ounce
of difference until you
ban all the other "distractions"
hindering drivers today:
billboards, car radios,
passengers, shaving while
driving, eating while driving,
rubbernecking at accidents,
televisions in cars and,
oh yeah, just plain stupidity
behind the wheel.
- Isn't
"forever and ever"
redundant? Like "forever"
isn't long enough?
- When
are we going to lift the
ban on Sunday liquor sales?
I mean, isn't it better
that I pick up some brewskis
and drink at home than go
to a bar, get sloshed and
attempt to drive home?
- Somebody
tell me that little girls
never grow out of their
"I love my daddy"
phase. It's way too cool.
- Nose
rings hurt when you forget
they're there and go to
scratch an itch.
- I
derive an inordinate amount
of pleasure from vacuuming.
I think it's because life
is so full of the unknown,
but vacuuming one of the
few tasks in life where
you get to see your progress
as you go.
- Monty
Python is even funnier on
DVD.
- What
is it about Parrot Heads
(Jimmy Buffett fans) that
makes them so much fun?
I've never known a more
genuine, compassionate or
supportive group of people
in my life. Oh, and they
know how to party too.
- Two
words: caffeinated mints.
They're called "Penguins"
and they're good, although
I'll warn ya that the ol'
caffeine habit does seem
more like an addiction when
you're popping small pill-shaped
mints in your mouth. Check
'em out at www.peppermints.com.
- I
still really want high speed.
- Thank
you STILL Jagermeister.
In this day and age of the
corporate-ification of every
aspect of the music business
and the business world in
general, the folks at Jagermeister
- from the VPs to the folks
running the band program
- are some of the nicest,
most genuine folks around.
Time
to figure out what I'm doing
with my life... if you need
me, I'll be at the bar.
This
column © 2002 Lee Totten.
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