Tilting
Windmills
I'm
starting to wonder if I'm
a mean person. Not mean like
steal candy from a child (although
I have been known to sneak
it when she's not looking)
and certainly not mean like
beat up fluffy bunnies or
anything. It's just that lately
I've noticed my response to
unsolicited junk emails and
incessant sales calls is getting,
well, downright hostile.
In
my own defense, I've long
been one of the most polite
people in the world to all
sorts of sales folks. Take
telemarketers - I used to
sit through most of their
script before politely declining.
When they STILL insisted on
selling me, I would carefully
explain why I didn't need
whatever it was they were
offering.
It
wasn't just telemarketers
either - I once became a frequent
stop for a particular religious
group known for door to door
ministry because I took the
time to explain philosophically
the error of their ways. Somehow
they mistook polite disagreement
as a "maybe." In
the end it was frequent lack
of door answering that they
finally understood as a "no."
Even then I wasn't rude -
just politely too busy hiding
upstairs to greet them.
But
recently all that has changed.
Take
for example my quickly deteriorating
demeanor with the telephone
representative who offered
me a special package on my
calling options the other
day. I explained that I had
every option I wanted, at
which point he countered with
"Well sir, you're already
paying $8.99 a month, and
for only $3 a month more you
could get all these great
features." I said again
that I had ALL the features
I wanted so why would I want
to pay MORE money for things
I didn't?
"But
sir, are you aware of what
these features are?"
he asked, attempting to save
the sale.
"Yes,"
I said with vitriol "And
I decided I didn't want them.
And I certainly don't need
the privilege of paying for
things I don't want. Now unless
you're offering them for free,
you're wasting my time."
He
hung up on me.
I
didn't MEAN to be cranky,
but my patience in the face
of more aggressive selling
is wearing thin. Or maybe
it's already worn through.
I
now take a certain guilty
pleasure in my approach to
telemarketers. Phone solicitors
don't even take the time to
personally call you anymore
- rather some computer dials
a bunch of numbers simultaneously
and whomever picks up first
gets connected. That's why
you'll sometimes get a 3 or
4 second pause before they
start selling. What annoys
me is that if you're not the
first person to answer the
phone, you'll hear 3 or 4
seconds of dead air and then
get hung up on. I feel it's
so rude that on the occasions
that I am being marketed to,
I now wait until the representative
picks up and then, in the
middle of their opening sentence,
hang up.
Mean.
I'm just not nice.
It
is nicer, however, than my
response to bulk unsolicited
emails. Unscrupulous marketers
actually scrape websites looking
for any valid email address
to send to and consequently
I get tons of unsolicited
ads directed to the mailboxes
I reserve for business.
It
angers me so much that I simply
save my unsolicited emails
and on those nights when I
get particularly liquored
up on Jagermeister, respond
with mean, nasty diatribes
filled with four letter words,
references to farm animals,
and seriously questioning
the lineage of everyone who
does, did and will ever work
at the company.
I
understand that I'm merely
tilting windmills... the sales
reps or the folks who finally
read my email rants are not
the ultimate enemies. All
my screaming and hanging up
isn't going to stop unscrupulous
marketers. Making the mere
pawns of these marketers feel
bad serves no constructive
purpose.
Maybe
it is mean. Maybe I'm not
nice anymore. But it sure
does make me feel better to
vent my frustration at someone
CLOSE to the source.
This
column © 2002 Lee Totten.
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