Another
Great Idea
So
I'm driving to my show and
listening to National Public
Radio because, well, I hear
plenty of loud music as part
of my occupation. Anyway,
there's this story on about
this guy in England who is
trying to get the government
to abandon the metric system.
You
remember the metric system
- exponentially increasing
systems of measurements, 10
millimeters in a centimeter,
you get to drive 100 KPH in
Canada?
Well
apparently England's adoption
of the metric system still
has some people riled up.
All speed limit and distance
signs are in meters, all weights
in grams and kilograms, and
it's actually illegal to sell
a pint of milk in a store
- it needs to be a liter.
You
can, however, still get a
pint of beer in a pub. Maybe
having learned a lesson or
two from 1776, the government
realized that you could only
push your citizens so far.
And frankly a pint of beer
is sacred.
The
problem, according to the
detractors, is that no one
uses the metric system in
their personal lives - they
use the old reliable English
system. They define their
height by feet and their weight
by pounds. So they're trying
to get the government to yield
to the will of the people
(yeah, okay) and abandon the
metric system.
Now
you may agree or disagree
with that approach and, frankly,
that's fine with me because
this isn't actually a column
about the metric system in
England.
It's
about the metric system here
in the United States.
You
see, when I was in grade school
a lot of energy went into
teaching us the metric system.
We were told that the U.S.
was going to covert to the
metric system soon and if
we didn't learn this new way
of doing things we would be
behind the times. We were
led to believe that if we
didn't master the metric system,
the whole of our sixth grade
class would become social
outcasts, incapable of buying
milk or gasoline and, ultimately,
dying from calcium deficiency
while stranded at some ExxonMobilCitgoTexaco
store.
I
don't know about you, but
sixth grade for me was awkward
enough - I didn't want to
be the only kid who didn't
know the metric system. Can
you imagine?
The
evidence seemed to support
that change was imminent:
our rulers had centimeters
on the other side, some speed
limit signs had speeds in
MPH and KPH to ease the transition,
and beverage containers listed
liter equivalents.
So
I learned how many grams are
in a kilogram and, as a result,
still have to look up how
many ounces are in a pound
every time I cook. I graduated
grade school, went to high
school and learned what awkward
really was, partied my way
through college, got a real
job, lost the real job and
finally became a full-time
musician where grasping any
concept more involved than
chicks, booze or rock and
roll is, quite frankly, a
liability. Now I spend most
of my time in my car, traveling
75, er, 65 miles an hour to
gigs while secretly listening
to NPR.
And
that's when it hit me. I was
listening to the story about
the metric system in England
and I looked at my speedometer
with the really big 65 MPH
and the really tiny 100KMH.
The I saw the mileage sign
telling me how far until the
next rest area. Suddenly I
remembered buying a gallon
of milk, the doctor saying
my daughter was 36 pounds
at her last checkup, and filling
my car with gallons of gas....
What
the hell ever happened to
the metric system?!?!
I'm
hurt and betrayed. I put a
lot of energy into the metric
system, trusting my teachers
that I was acquiring a life
skill. And where is it? Has
the metric system conversion
gone the way of New Coke,
chinos for men and US budget
surpluses?
What
the hell ever happened to
the metric system?!?!
I
mean, except for when you
drive near Canada, there is
almost no evidence that we
even CONSIDERED the metric
system. Everything uses the
traditional English system
of measures.
What
the hell ever happened to
the metric system?!?!
Well,
except for diet Coke. That
comes in 2-liter bottles.
But it also comes in 12 ounce
cans. Either way I don't know
how much I consumer per day
because I don't know how a
liter relates ounces and I
certainly never learned how
many fluid ounces in a gallon.
I
was too busy learning the
metric system.
This
column © 2001 Lee Totten
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