Quelle
Heure Est-Il?
They
are the appliances designed
to make my life easier. With
their space-age technology
and state-of-the-art electronics
they are supposed to make
me more productive, my life
more efficient, and allow
me more free time. These devices,
by shouldering the burden
of the many mundane tasks
that busied up the lives of
the previous generations,
are supposed to give me the
peace of mind to know that
I am in control of my life.
Instead,
I'm going nuts because I can't
get the damned clocks on even
TWO of these so-called "miracle
devices" to display a time
within five minutes of each
other for more than an hour
or so.
To
wit - I have no less than
8 clocks in my house. One
is on the self-cleaning oven,
one on the microwave. There's
a clock on the desktop of
my supercomputer (well, it
was a year ago when I bought
it) and one on the cell phone
which rests on my desk. The
VCR has a clock to help me
keep track of when my favorite
programs are on, the digital
cable box has a clock and
the television display has
a little clock presumably
in case I can't read the bright
green LED on either the VCR
or the cable box, both of
which sit right next to the
TV. Oh, and don't forget the
alarm clock upstairs in the
bedroom that not only displays
the time but plays actual
cheesy synthesized versions
of the previously relaxing
sounds of nature.
Thank
god I don't wear a watch.
All
I want to know is this: when
did technology become so complicated?
And I don't mean complicated,
like I can't understand it
- I mean making my life more
complex.
I
can remember as a kid spending
hours in the upstairs hallway
of my grandparents house pouring
over the advertisements in
the piles of late 1950s and
early 1960s National Geographic
Magazines they had stashed
on a forgotten bookshelf.
Sandwiched between the exuberance
that followed the end of World
War II and the cynicism that
would define the Vietnam era,
the advertisements of that
age were downright perky and
optimistic. No where was this
more evident than in the ads
for new technology.
It
was going to be the great
equalizer - technology was
going to lighten the work
load on the average family
and allow everyone to live
like the leisure class. It
was part magic, part science,
and all about the coming of
the space age. These were
amazing devices that would
absolutely transform our lives.
Sure
enough, here in the year 2001,
I have some pretty amazing
devices. I have access to
the local radar via a website
to determine if I'm going
to have to play that outdoor
show. I have a phone that
will fit in my breast pocket
that allows people to call
me anywhere, anytime. I can
melt butter or reheat last
night's dinner in a matter
of seconds. I can leave my
house on a Thursday to go
play a show, come back and
watch the Friends episode
that I missed. You would think
life would be just about pure
leisure.
But
with these marvelous devices
come complications. I have
four separate remotes that
I need simply to watch something
on television. I had to take
the time to sit down and figure
out how to use all the functions
on my cell phone, many of
which I still screw up. Not
only did I have to write songs
and record an album, but now
I have to create and design
a website too, think about
videos, and hire a lawyer
to handle my digital rights.
I have all my addresses and
accounting on my computer,
but have to back it up all
the time and keep paper copies
of everything just in case
my hard drive crashes. I'm
constantly having to learn
new techniques and new software
to help me more easily do
the things that, in many cases,
I didn't have any trouble
doing before.
And
maybe that's the irony of
the reality of technology
- it brings us convenience
in some aspects of our lives
while opening the door to
a whole new set of problems
in others. Yes, right from
my desk I can check out the
local weather and time in
Paris, France. I can even
find out how to ask what time
it is in French and then instant
message some real French people
to ask them.
But
I still can't get all of the
damned clocks on these ingenious
devices to display the same
frigging time.
Maybe
there's a website out there
that will help me - I'll just
take a quick look and then
get back to work....
This
column © 2001 Lee Totten
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