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Spring
Cleaning
Well,
since the scattered collection
of bright blue Post-It Notes
on my desk, my computer, my
wall and even my guitar never
seems to diminish, suppose
now is as good a time as any
to clean off some random thoughts
that have been kicking around
for quite some time....
- Why
is it so important that
I take the time to keypad
in my ten-digit phone number
and then navigate through
16 or 17 voice menus to
select my specific problem
only to be transferred to
a customer service representative
who asks me right away 1)
my phone number and 2) what
my problem is?
- The
cable guy did finally show
up. He even had to climb
a ladder to flip a switch
on the pole. Guess that
was worth the $5.00 installation
fee.
- You'd
think that for $1000.00
you could find at least
one halfway attractive set
of strippers in Vegas for
a private show... you'd
think.
- Am
I the only one who wonders
why it is that in this day
and age of computers, modems
and technology in general
it STILL takes 3-5 business
days for a check to clear?
Hello? Dial up the other
bank, verify that the money
is there, and electronically
transfer it. Should take
but a minute, even at MY
connection speed.
- For
those of you curious, the
only celebrity that I saw
up close at the Grammys
was Pat f****ing Sajak.
Boy do I feel cool.
- Dot
com stocks plummeting is
a surprise? C'mon, did you
REALLY think that when your
stock in pimentoloaf.com
increased 12,000 percent
during the first hour after
the IPO that it was based
on a sound business plan
rather than internet hype?
If so, you got what you
deserved.
- And
speaking of the internet...
I'm REALLY sick and tired
of hearing people say that
internet advertising doesn't
work because people don't
instantly click on the little
banners and go buy whatever
is being advertised. When
I'm sitting home watching
TV and a McDonalds ad comes
on, I don't get up and run
to McDonalds. Even in the
car when it comes on the
radio, I don't pull a u-turn
and head for the Golden
Arches.... Advertising is
based on REPETITION - so
that when I don get hungry,
I will think of McDonalds
first. But I guess if you're
willing to invest millions
in every crappy dot com
that comes along, you can
disregard decades of conventional
advertising wisdom as well.
- Say
what you will - I still
think the demo to the song
"White Trash Whore" is kinda
catchy....
- It
is me, or has anyone else
noticed that with all of
the megacorporate mergers,
the larger the company gets
the less they seem to care
about customer service?
I think the days of caring
about customers are over.
- Hugs
from two-year olds are the
best.
- Unpacking
boxes you haven't opened
in two years goes one of
two ways - "Wow! I really
missed this!" or "Why the
hell did I ever save this?!"
- And
I thought I had a lot of
Jagermeister swag BEFORE.
Latest inventory: 2200 Jagermeister/Lee
Totten shot glasses, 640
lighters, 2000 bumper stickers,
260 Jager song tee shirts,
288 Jagermeister guitar
tee shirts, 144 generic
Jager tee shirts, 2 bottles
of Jager, and 620 Jagermeister
guitar picks. Think it might
be time for a contest. Or
time to hit the road again.....
- Some
would say that springtime
in New England is so special
because of the contrast
with winter and the amount
of snow we get. I still
contend that I would rather
have 12 months of boring,
sunny weather.
- In
the end, when Napster gets
shut down for good, they
will only have themselves
to blame. Greed is what
drives them, nothing else.
No one can touch systems
like Gnutella because there
is no corporation trying
to make money off of the
illegal trading of copyrighted
materials. Meanwhile Napster
makes more money than I
do by allowing people to
trade my songs. If Napster
is getting paid, the artists
deserve to be paid too.
- I
love Reese's Peanut Butter
eggs.
- Estimated
amount of Jagermeister consumed
last year: around 800 shots.
Figure 181 shows and an
average of 4 or 5 shots
a show (or 12, depending
on the venue). Oh, my poor
liver.
Well,
time to go pay some taxes and
head out for band rehearsal.
If you're in Cambridge, MA this
weekend, we'll be showcasing
at the NEMO Music Convention.
Details at www.leetotten.com/tour.
This
column © 2001 Lee Totten
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