A
Nickle For Your Thoughts
It's
clear to me that the American
public is staging a quiet resolution.
Finally an issue so fundamental
that it manages to spark even
the most self-involved, politically
ignorant of Americans. It's
not a name issue like the WTO,
Gun Control or Middle East Peace
- in fact it might never make
the news. Yet still, every single
day, countless Americans quietly
protest the policy of their
government hoping to effect
change.
Or
maybe it's affect change.
I'm
talking, of course, about
pennies. For the past 60 years
they have been viewed as merely
a nuisance - something to
clutter up change purses and
to pay bills in protest with.
As a currency they have been
so resented that we rarely
want to waste the energy to
pull them out of our pockets
to make exact change for anything
- even a 69 cent candy bar.
Well, senior citizens do,
but then they count them with
such deliberate slowness as
to only add to the penny's
already unfavorable reputation.
It
was bad enough when we just
stockpiled them at home waiting
for that one magic day when
we would turn them all in
and then make our great escape
to the tropics with our wealth.
First it was the coffee can,
then the water jug, then four
or five piggy banks until
finally they flowed into the
drawers of the coffee table,
mixed into the nuts and bolts
can, or just get left scattered
under the couch cushions.
Our homes became warehouses
of pennies, depleting the
national supply and forcing
them to mint even more. We
have become so overwhelmed
with pennies that people will
rarely even stop to pick one
up off of the ground.
Now
the years of building resentment
have led to a full-fledged
revolt - a revolution against
pennies. The American population
has collectively decided that
despite the U.S. government's
insistence on continuing to
mint them, we're simply not
going to use them any more.
We the people have determined
that pennies are no longer
even worth our trouble.
This
is perhaps best witnessed
by the "Give a Penny, Take
a Penny" jars at convenience
stores. Does it cost $6.04?
Don't worry, just give $6.00
and the rest will come from
the dish. Getting 54 cents
worth of change? I only want
the quarters - just throw
the four cents in the dish.
Think
about it. We have so devalued
pennies that we don't even
value transactions below the
nickel division. None of us
even care if we lose four
cents here or gain two cents
there. The breadth and depth
of this revolution is so extensive
that it may very well render
the penny null and void.
If
there is any dissention in
the ranks of the revolution
it comes from only a few sources:
gas stations that still use
some legally questionable
fraction of the penny to theoretically
make us feel better about
gas prices and salesmen who
honestly believe that we,
as consumers, are more likely
to buy something that is $99.99
rather than $100.
For
the record, I have my own
unique relationship with pennies
developed in English class
during ninth grade. My teacher,
Mr. Bernstein, delivered a
stirring monologue about how
our lives are so busy and
complicated that we never
even stop to pick up the pennies
that we see on the ground.
He reasoned that part of our
discontent was our failure
to notice the small pleasures
in life, the little rewards
scattered through our day.
He believed that we should
all stop and pick up pennies
if only as a daily reaffirmation
of our own sensitivity to
life's subtle joys. I have
maintained my commitment to
my inner happiness and still
stop to pick up pennies every
chance I get.
Of
course, I leave them at home,
stockpiled, waiting for that
one day when I can cash them
all in. And I'm eternally
grateful for those little
dishes of pennies at the store
because I never seem to have
the right change. I mean really
- who wants to carry around
a bunch of pennies anyway?
This
column © 2000 Lee Totten
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